had the opportunity to sit down with powerhouse attorney, real estate investor, and bestselling author of The Power of OPE, Bethany LaFlam. Her journey from burned-out law practice to pioneering boutique hotel investments is filled with lessons about scaling, communication, and leveraging the right partnerships. If you’ve ever wondered how to move from passive deals to building multimillion-dollar funds—or how to scale without losing yourself in the process—this conversation is a must-watch.
For a complete guide on optimizing and scaling your real estate investments, download my Freedom Blueprint! This essential tool walks you through ten key steps for organizing a profitable property portfolio. Click here to get your copy today!
Welcome everybody. I’m excited to have with me a powerhouse attorney. She’s a real estate investor and she’s the bestselling author of The Power of OPE. So I’m excited to have her share all of her story with us. Get ready for insights to help you scale, systemize and create more freedom. Let’s jump in. So, where I like to start is how did you get started with real estate investing?
So I’ve been practicing law for 25 years now and I was on the tech side venture. I did mergers and acquisitions. I was working with all the tech bros in Silicon Valley. So I didn’t really know about real estate as an investment. I mean, of course everybody knows about real estate, but I didn’t really know the value of it. I was in the middle of it’s either like 10X or nothing, you know? And I left that world really, really burnt out. And I met my former law partner and was just kind of licking my failure and was trying to figure out what I was gonna do next. I thought I was going to leave the law, and he was doing real estate syndications, which is just a fancy way to say helping real estate investors leverage other people’s money safely.
So I started helping him and I thought, one, this is a lot easier than tech, so this is a nice break. But two, I was like, wait, what do you mean there’s cash flow? What do you mean this is not like this cutthroat industry like venture and tech? I fell in love with the clients because they’re regular builders, they’re Main Street people that are just trying to either escape their W-2 or enhance it or create a legacy for their families. And it wasn’t just a bunch of Silicon Valley bros.
I’m sure the Silicon Valley bros are very nice. It just was not my jam. So I got a nice sneak peek at thousands of deals as we did their offerings for them. And I started realizing what works, what doesn’t work, what the team brings to the table. I got a little bit of an insider’s look at these deals and I started passively investing. Of course, I got to cherry pick some of them and then realized, I think I could probably do this.
I really love boutique hotels. And so I started on the hospitality side investing in luxury resorts as well. I started off passive, but it was after looking at thousands of deals on their offerings first.
That is a unique journey. So many people do not get into real estate investing that way. What I love about it is how you highlighted something that’s one of my top things that I love about real estate investing. You’re saying you’re Main Street over Wall Street. You’re helping average Americans who really have this vision and are wanting to create legacy, improve their life, bring beautiful homes that people can live in. While it is about the numbers, it’s also a lot more than that.
Thank you. That’s very important to me because I was ready to leave the practice of law and then I realized it wasn’t the law, it was the people. So I’m hooked now.
Yes, that’s awesome. And now you can use all those years of experience in this industry where you feel like it really resonates with you as a person as well. So what was your very first deal like and what did you learn from it?
The first deal that I invested in passively, I kind of limped in. I had this client and he did 506B offerings. For anybody who’s listening, all that means is he raised money from passive investors. He did all the work. They put their money in and he was allowed to offer it only to close friends and family, people he knew well. As a result, he could take people that weren’t already very wealthy. Accredited is the word for it. We don’t need to get into all that unless that’s something your listeners like. But what he did was create a separate class of investment for people who aren’t yet accredited and said you can come in for $5,000 and see what it’s like. He does that even though it’s a huge pain for him because someone did that for him and helped him just get his feet wet and learn how to invest. And now he’s doing his own deal. I was accredited but he let me come in for $5,000.
Wow. Amazing.
And I was like, let’s just see. But what I got to do is see how he interacted with his investors. I got to see how he ran the deal. I could evaluate if I was comfortable with his communication style. I really think that if you’re able, the best way to learn about real estate investing is to passively invest in someone else’s deal. Otherwise, it’s to operate a smaller deal yourself. So I limped in at $5,000 the first time with a commercial mixed use property with a really great operator.
I made a good return, but on $5,000. Still, I got a little taste of it. Then the next one was $25,000, then it was $50,000, and then I was buying hotels. It can escalate pretty quickly once you get all the tools.
What I love about that is some real estate investors—maybe a lot—would go into a deal with the most they can throw into it. If we had $500,000, we’d throw $500,000 instead of $5,000. Yet there’s so much you learned and so much protection you had from doing a small one at first. You got to see your comfort level with his communication, you got to see things behind the scenes. You were able to learn a lot with very little risk. It’s a smarter way to do it. I typically recommend to people, especially if it’s their first time working with an operator, don’t put in $500,000. Be more conservative so you’re vetting them out. Even though you have to wait until that first deal with them ends before you start a second deal, see it through to conclusion. Real estate investors tend to want all the money yesterday, and it can be tough to take it slow. So kudos to you for doing that.
Yeah, I mean in the deal, they could take three, five, seven, ten years. So you might not know how that’s going to end. I would at least say give it a whole cycle, like a year. For me it’s hotels, so a whole off-season. How do they manage cash? For multifamily, how do they handle a downturn? Were they prepared to weather it? Did they foresee any of these horrible things that happened over the past few years? If you’re not going for a full cycle, at least wait for some critical events to happen so you can see how they manage it. Because everybody in 2021 was a genius. Everybody was winning until they weren’t.
Yes. I love, as we talk about vetting and what to look for in an operator, you touched on communication. That’s really key. I think it’s one of the top criteria between great and not-so-great operators. What do you like to see or what would you recommend people look for in terms of communication from an operator or general partner?
My personal style is I want over-communication. Tell me all the things—the bad things, the scary things, the good and exciting things too. I want to know that you know what’s going on. I don’t want to be watching the news and thinking, do they know that this is coming? Tell me that you know what’s happening and that you’ve got a plan for it. I don’t want an operator to bury their head in the sand and not talk if it starts to get a little scary. So my communication style is over-communication.
There are investors that don’t want to hear from you until you’re putting a distribution into their bank account. They don’t want to hear. Some of them say, don’t call me, don’t text me. But operators are obligated to send an email, so just don’t look at it if you don’t want to see it. Make sure your communication style matches. For me, I don’t want it always to be rosy. It was rosy when you were pitching it. Then the PPM takes it down a notch and gives you the scary stuff, as it should. I want to know all of it.
And so for me, I would say ask hard questions in the beginning, especially for women. For whatever reason, a lot of women I know feel like they don’t want to ask a lot of questions because maybe they should already know the answers. Maybe they’ve been shut down before or maybe they just don’t know. Ask the hard questions and see how they answer. If they’re shutting you out now, don’t invest. Because if things get squirrely later, they’re going to disappear. People show you who they are right away—believe them.
Yes, it’s kind of like it’s never going to get better than when they’re courting you, trying to earn your money. You’re seeing the best you’re going to get in terms of communication at that point. Now, do you have any go-to questions you’d recommend people ask when they are vetting an operator?
I want to know who all the partners are. In the pitch deck, I want to know what they’re doing. Do they know what they’re doing? I want to make sure there’s nobody on there who’s just raising capital because that happens a lot. If you’ve got a big name on there, are they making decisions? Are they really involved, or are you just using their track record? Are you getting something from them versus just having their face on your pitch deck? I want to know what everybody involved is actually doing.
That’s a great point.
Because I’ve seen it—it’s like, “I’ve got so-and-so on here, I’ll give him a cut for letting me put his face on here, and he’s done thousands of doors. So now I can say our team has done thousands of doors.” But is he really showing up to meetings? Is he really helping?
Right. Is he just someone you can call if there’s a level 10 emergency and that’s it? Or like you said, just a face on the deck. Similarly, you mentioned something I think listeners would benefit from. You talked about partners who are there just because they’re raising capital. Tell me what that means for you and why passive investors should pay attention to that.
So I’m a securities lawyer, right? I see all of it. And I cannot tell you the number of conversations I have weekly, even now that I’m not doing the day-to-day law firm work. People ask, “Can I just give someone 5% of the deal to bring in $500,000? Or someone offered me 5% of the deal to bring in money—can I take it?” Friends, that’s illegal.
Unless someone is a registered broker-dealer, a FINRA-registered broker-dealer—not a real estate broker—they cannot get compensated strictly for raising capital. If somebody is on your team and they’re getting compensated, they better be doing more than just raising capital. In my opinion, everybody on the GP’s team should at least help raise capital, but you cannot kick people out because they didn’t. You also can’t compensate them solely for it.
So then people ask, “Okay, well, how are we supposed to raise the money then?” Everybody on the team has to have another job. Whatever they’re getting paid needs to be relevant for that job. If someone is really good at raising capital, they’re probably good at underwriting or diligence or something else to get them to that point. If they’re really good at selling the deal, hopefully they know the deal well. Not everyone has to be an asset manager—that’s fine. But not everyone can just be “investor relations” either, which is what I hear a lot.
Investor relations is not just calling up your friends and making sure they’re not mad about the deal. Investor relations is generating K-1s. It’s doing all the reporting to the investors, even when it’s hard, even when it’s ugly. That means they need to know what’s going on all the time. For it to count, investor relations has to be a real job. And you probably shouldn’t have 10 investor relations people on a $2 million deal.
That’s a great point, and something I’ve seen too with syndications—people getting a cut just for raising capital. I’m glad you explained that, because I think that message needs to be out there more. Hopefully we save you a few calls when people listen to this.
I know! I shout it from the rooftop. Eventually people start saying, “I heard you say it, now I know.” Because if you have a network, you’ll get offered these deals. But just because it’s offered, even by a good operator, doesn’t mean it’s allowed.
Yes. And you’ve given us plenty of ways to be a GP without getting compensated just for raising capital. You can take another role or responsibility in that partnership. It’s doable. Now, we talked about your first deal and dug into a lot there. How has your approach to real estate evolved over the years?
That’s a good question. Like I said, I limped in, but my risk tolerance is actually pretty high—I did come out of venture. I went from investing in three or four passive deals to buying a hotel. I never did a flip, never did multifamily. I went straight to hotels.
The reason is I have a background in operating businesses, and I love the idea that boutique hotels and resorts have both an operating business and real estate. You get the best of both worlds. You can force appreciation with value-add, and you can pull a lot of levers—with a bar, a restaurant, spas, excursions. And I love hospitality. Spoiler alert, because you’re going to ask what I’d tell my younger self: go into hospitality. It lights me up. Not everybody feels that way, but when I go to our properties, I’m never really on vacation—I’m working. But I don’t care, because I love it.
So I dove all the way in. Once I decided I loved real estate, I focused on hospitality and boutique hotels and resorts. We bought one in Belize and tested it out, made sure we could do this. Then we started a fund—a $50 million fund. So I swung big.
Awesome. And there are great takeaways here. First, there are so many paths in real estate investing. What I hear from you is that you chose the one that was a fit for you. You didn’t get shiny object syndrome. Your passion for hospitality is clear, and you leaned into that. Now you’re going deep and big in that niche with a $50 million fund. I love that you chose your niche and went all out in it.
Yes, and I recommend that. They’re all different, and I know this from passively investing in other asset classes. I’ve seen how they operate differently. Personally, I have no interest in being active in those other asset classes. And this is something I always tell people when we’re talking about scaling without burning out: figure out your lane.
Your lane is three things: What are you amazing at? What are you better at than anyone else in the world? What are you uniquely qualified to do? That alone isn’t enough. Entrepreneurs often get good at things that don’t light them up.
If it doesn’t light you up, it’s not your lane. Sorry. I’ll battle influencers telling you to suck it up and do everything yourself. It doesn’t have to suck. Yes, sometimes it will, but your job is to get out of that as quickly as possible.
So it’s got to be uniquely qualified to you, it’s got to light you up, and it has to move the needle toward your big vision and goals. Which means you need to know what those are. I used to think it was fluffy to talk about goals and vision. “I have stuff to do, a business to run.” But towards what? If you don’t take a minute to daydream about it, what are you even doing? You’ll burn out and never get anywhere because you don’t know where you’re going.
Yes, I love your three points. I see it all the time with people getting into real estate investing—they don’t know where they want to go. Do they want to invest for cash flow? Net worth growth? Do they want a lifestyle of traveling the world? Or do they want to stay rooted in their hometown? Those are different strategies. You can only find your lane when you know what you’re good at, what lights you up, and what your vision is. I love that. So, what’s your vision?
My vision is when I “retire”—though I’ll never really retire because I’d be bored—I want to host retreats to help people learn how to create wealth without burning out, leveraging OPE. I want to do this from beautiful places around the world that I own a piece of.
That meant buying luxury resorts with partners. Now we can host a retreat in Belize, and soon Costa Rica, plus all over the U.S. The plan is to travel and do retreats all over the world in beautiful places. That lights me up—that’s the goal.
I love that, and what’s powerful is that you’re super specific. Every listener could picture exactly what that looks like. That’s what I’d challenge anyone creating their vision: be specific enough that anyone can visualize it.
Yes, because then your brain knows what to look for. I used to think it was woo-woo, but now I know it’s backed by science. Once you’ve created the picture, your brain will go find it for you.
For example, if I ask how many red cars you saw yesterday, you’d say, “I don’t know.” But if I ask you today to count red cars, you’ll suddenly notice them everywhere. It’s the same thing with deals. I know my buy box, I know my goals. I don’t have to hunt for deals—they come to me. Not every hotel fits, and that’s okay.
That makes sense. And I have a story you’ll appreciate. Earlier this year, we were in Vietnam. My son loves penguins, and for his birthday he wanted a specific penguin toy—a battery-powered penguin that waddles and walks. We were in a country that doesn’t even have penguins, so I thought the odds were low. But we said, sure, if we find it, we’ll get it.
We went to the grocery store, which was inside a department store, and in the toy section was the exact penguin he wanted—battery-powered, waddling. He named it Waddles, and now it travels the world with us.
That’s how it works. You wouldn’t have noticed it otherwise, but your brain was looking for it.
Exactly. It’s such a fun example of the point you’re making.
What I love is that we’ve been talking vision and mindset, but I also want to make sure we hit the other side of the coin. You like strong communication from your GPs—so what’s the biggest challenge you’ve faced in real estate, and how did you overcome it?
On my client side, one of the biggest challenges was seeing people acquire too much too fast in 2021. Everything was going great, money was flowing, and a lot of people got ahead of their skis. They bought more than they could manage, especially if a downturn came. And then everything happened at once.
No one could have predicted all of it happening at once, but we all know real estate is cyclical. You need to plan to weather the storm. A lot of people didn’t plan well. Growing too fast is not the same as scaling. Growing is just adding more, while scaling is being able to handle that growth with the right resources and systems in place.
On my operator side, our biggest challenge was not raising enough money to be truly cash comfortable during the slow season. That meant we didn’t take fees or distributions for a while—we just reinvested everything back into value-add projects. The investors are having a great time with their returns, but as operators it was tough. It took patience and learning, but because we made that choice, we were the ones who absorbed the pain—not the investors.
That’s a great point, especially with a business like a hotel where cash management is so critical. I’d love to peek behind the curtain. What do your systems and processes look like for running boutique hotels in foreign locations?
OPE—other people’s everything. Technology is a big one. We switched to a booking system that can scale with us. It’s expensive now with one property, but it will scale across many. Same with marketing—we set it up to grow with us. And we automate as much as possible.
We also have an in-country team that manages the resort. It’s not reliant on me being there. We have a general manager, bar and restaurant staff, a full cleaning crew. It’s fully staffed and fully operational. There’s no way I would try to do this myself.
You mentioned OPE—that’s the title of your book. Tell us more about that.
I’ve made a lot of money helping people make a lot of money leveraging other people’s money. OPM is powerful, but it’s not enough. I saw clients leverage OPM but still try to do everything else themselves. They burned out fast.
That’s where OPE came from: Other People’s Everything. Other people’s technology, time, talents, and energy. And before that, clearing out other people’s junk—like their goals for you, their baggage, their negativity.
When you know your lane—what you’re good at, what lights you up, and what drives your vision—you can see clearly what to keep and what to delegate. That’s how you achieve exponential growth.
I love that. I talk about this all the time with virtual assistants. Guest service, for example, is not my lane in my short-term rentals. My VA handles all of that communication, and it frees me to focus on what I love.
Exactly. And people say they can’t afford help. But the truth is, you make more money when you delegate the things you hate or aren’t good at. Your VA probably loves that work. By hoarding it, you’re depriving both yourself and them. When people are in the right seat on the bus, it’s magic.
Yes, I love that analogy. Speaking of operations, what’s your go-to tool for managing your business?
My secret weapon is my COO—my integrator. I don’t like to manage or hire, so she handles that. Technology is another. People are afraid of AI, but AI isn’t going to replace human connection. Let technology handle the repetitive stuff so you can focus on the work that lights you up. Right now, our community sits on Mighty Networks, and that’s been powerful.
That’s fantastic. If you could give your younger self one piece of advice, what would it be?
You don’t have to struggle in silence. Ask for help. Do what you want to do. You’re allowed to be happy, to get help, to build your business your way. There’s no reward for struggling harder than everyone else.
Yes. That’s something so many investors need to hear—asking for help actually requires more trust in yourself and your vision.
Exactly.
And finally, what’s one book that’s been transformational in your journey?
Besides my own book, the one that really shifted things for me was Who Not How by Dan Sullivan and Dr. Benjamin Hardy. It showed me that you don’t always need to figure out the “how.” You need to find the right “who.”
That ties perfectly into community. You’ve built one—tell us about it.
It’s called the Conscious Capital Collective. It started as support for law firm clients before and after deals, but now it’s growing into one of the best wealth and luxury travel platforms in the world. Think Disney’s Club 33 meets YPO meets Soho House.
At the highest level, it gives access to luxury properties and elite events. But every level before that is focused on helping people grow—creating wealth, building the right mindset, and scaling to the next stage. It’s about supporting builders, scalers, and those who’ve already arrived but want to enjoy an extraordinary life with their wealth.
That’s amazing. Where can people learn more?
Everything is on Instagram. My handle is @bethany_laflam, and my link tree has everything about the book, the community, and more.
Perfect. Thank you so much, Bethany. This has been such a valuable conversation. For those reading, I’d encourage you to share this with someone who needs to hear Bethany’s story.